Cold front

There was a cold front that made it's way through the valley over the past couple of days. It really cooled things down quite a bit and dropped some snow on the highest surrounding peaks. It rained about 1/2 inch. Some people reported frost in their yards. I think the 200lb SHAQ has too much mass now to be damaged by the passing storm, and actually gained quite a bit of weight during the change. Nothing but sun is forcasted for the next week which should help SHAQ continue to morph.

He's now 94" and right around 200lbs.

5 more weeks

I'm thinking "Jabba the Hutt" might have been a better fitting name than SHAQ. His weight gain is beginning to look downright disgusting like one of those hot dog eating competitions at about the time in the competition when the competitors down the last of their fifty or so hot dogs. Don't get me wrong, I love hot dogs. Who doesn't? Cooked slowly over the low heat of a charcoal grill, smothered with sweet relish, mustard, ketchup, and onions is how I like them. I can handle about 2 or 3 if it's cooked right. These things they are throwing down their throats aren't even cooked. I think they might toss em' into a pot of warm water or something, but there's no condiments, and I think they dip the buns in water to make them easier to eat. There is no way I could eat 2 or 3 this way let alone 50!!! Pretty disgusting right? Well, that's what SHAQ is right now. The nice round shape has turned into a blob of nastiness. Who cares what he looks like as long as he keeps putting on weight. He's now 89" around, and weighs between 170 and 180 according to the measurement charts.

It ain't over til' the fat pumpkin splits

SHAQ is now 85" in circumference. He's somewhere around 160 lbs. For those of you who keep track, that's 60 pounds in 1 week. If he keeps this up I might need some help lifting him in a month. Not a lot, just a little bit.

One of Josh's pumpkins split last week. I'm not sure if it was his biggest pumpkin, or what. It's kind of hard to tell if he's telling the truth or if he's just trying to get the rest of us thinking he's not a factor anymore. I hope he's lying. It will be a shame if SHAQ does the moonwalk across the finish line looking for the closest competitor.

Still Gaining

The Dude is amazing. You can see gravity is starting to pull the weight down over the belt buckle. He's going to need suspenders soon. He's the first to the buffet line, and had to cut his time at golden corral down to 2 hours. There wasn't enough for the other patrons. Even with all the attention over his weight gain he seems to be content. He's happy with his image, and turned down a self help opportunity with OPRAH. He said he wasn't interested. Didn't need any help. Enough about "Jim" - the new guy at work. This blog is about THE BIG SHAQ

He's now almost 80" around, somewhere close to 135 lbs. He'll catch Jim in no time.

Who knew?

SHAQ is now 76" in circumference. That equates to ~120lbs. I would have taken another pic, but it looks the exact same, only I put the basketball back in the garage where it's been sitting for years. Hard to believe I've replaced hoops with a pumpkin. Welcome to middle age I guess. Who knew pumpkin growing could be this fun?

Nothing to hide

70" around, close to 100 pounds with still more than 6 weeks of growing.

High winds again

You might recall the storms I talked about back in late June. I named one Rhode Island and the other Kansas. Yesterday we were visited by Nebraska. You know that stretch between Kearney and Omaha where the wind howls and blows semi trucks over like William Perry running through a defensive line? Yep, That's what came through the yard yesterday. The newscast reported 80 mph winds through the area. There were wheat strands all over the yard, and you can actually see one of them ended up under the giant pumpkin. What a perfect place to land.
That piece of wheat was probably eyeing SHAQ for the last month, waiting for the chance to break free from it's impending doom of having it's head cut off, only to have his body fed to the cows by way of a straw bale. Now was it's chance. It rode the wind tunnel to the base of SHAQ and held on for all it had. Now it will forever be remembered as the soft bed where SHAQ grew. The rest of the wheat is leaning over as a result of being blown by the wind, or maybe, just maybe they are leaning to get a closer look at their old friend laying beneath the behemoth.

He's 63" in circumference, and should weigh more than eighty pounds by morning.

It's a good thing I took down the luv SHAQ, or it would have sailed the wind to Vegas by now.

7 weeks left

7 weeks from now the winner will be crowned. SHAQ is now 52" in circumference. Based on the measuring charts, SHAQ is about 50 pounds already. The fairy godmother called and asked if she could reserve him once the competition is over. Apparently she wants to turn him into a carriage for Halloween. Not a bad Idea.

County Fair time

"People loose interests in blogs if they aren't updated daily" That's what Becky has been telling me for awhile now. She also tells me golf tips, and she's right ever time, so maybe she's right with this too?. The biggest problem is I don't always have a lot to say other than Shaq is growing, so if you want an update on SHAQ, he's 43" at the widest point. He looks healthy, and should have no problem winning this thing unless something unexpected happens. There you go, there's your update.

If you want to read about the county fair, keep reading.

I went to the County Fair today. I saw a few people I know, and many more that I don't know. I recognized the lady from 1983 who has the awesome mullet and can be seen wearing a tank top 4 sizes too big to show off her drooping faded tattoos. You know the one. I saw 4 rat tails. Actually, one of them wasn't a tail but more like a 4"x4" patch of hair at the top of his neck. I tried and tried to remember who he reminded me of, but my memory couldn't go back that far. Where are these people during the rest of the year?

I used to rock a tail back in 83' when I was 6.

We went to the different displays. Sheep, cows, rabbits, goats, goats, goats, roosters, pigeons, goats, rabbits, goats, cotton candy, ferris wheel, gigantic slide,goats....quilts, needlework, clothing, corn, beans, peas, beats, goats.

When we entered the "Produce Barn", I immediately started looking for Pumpkins. I finally spotted two pumpkins way across the room. One had a blue ribbon on it. I wondered what the ribbon could be for. It seemed like all of the red potatoes had a blue ribbon. There were like 7 plates of red potatoes, all with blue ribbons. Maybe the judge didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so he gave them all blue ribbons. Who knows? When I reached the pumpkin table with only two pumpkins I couldn't believe what I read. Next to the bigger pumpkin (the one about the size of a volleyball with a blue ribbon on top) I read "Biggest Pumpkin Winner!! $20 prize" ...........What?

I cut 6 pumpkins off the vine that would have all beat this little guy. If I would have entered the contest, and if the contest was judged by the potato judge......I would have had 6 blue ribbons for sure. Oh well.

Back home I measured SHAQZILLA. He's 43" around. He's grown 23" in 1 week, and he's only getting bigger. Hey lady from 1983... Tattoo that on your free real estate just under the one of the unicorn, and as time passes you can watch SHAQ grow as you continue to sag......

Have you ever known someone who could eat,eat,eat, and then eat some more? When we were growing up my brother Todd was like that, .... and he still is. A couple years ago we were fishing and Todd made the comment that he was so hungry he could eat 10 cheeseburgers. I called BS. I told him I would pay for 10 cheeseburgers at McDonald's if he would eat all of them. When we were done fishing we went to McDonald's, and the dude didn't eat 10 cheeseburgers. He ate 11!!!.
The reason I bring that story up is because that's where SHAQ is right now. (no, not McDonald's). Unlike Todd who could eat and eat and not gain weight, SHAQ is eating everything, and gaining weight. I would say he has some serious "fat potential". He's gained 15" in his waistline in only 5 days. That's a lot of McDonald's cheeseburgers.

SHAQ steps outside

SHAQ has been cooped up long enough!. The luv Shaq has served it's purpose beautifully, and SHAQ can now spread his wings and get serious. Time to torment. I pruned off all but 2 pumpkins, and have buried the vines to keep them from reaching into protected airspace during any freak wind storms. I wouldn't want to scare innocent airline passengers. Air travel is scary enough without "Jack and the Beanstalk" size vines waving around the jet.


As soon as the cage was taken down the skies darkened and thunder rumbled. I don't know if it was a sonic boom of SHAQ emerging into the real world, or if it was the seasonal thunderstorm rolling into the valley. Either way, it was fitting. SHAQ is nasty, and doesn't need a bright sunny day to make his first appearance. It would be like having a Metallica concert in a church.

SHAQ is a full grown man waiting for the beer gut we'll call a pumpkin to weigh him down and dwarf his body.

Sixty Days Left

SHAQ is huge, 25'x 14'!!! He would be wider, but the Luv Shaq is only 14' wide. I guess it's time to take it down.
The busy bee has come and gone. He moved on to less green pastures. His work is done and the pumpkins are growing. Now comes the hard part, which one do I keep and which ones do I get rid of? Or do I keep three just so I can win first, second, and third place? I'll probably wait a week or two before I decide. Now there are 15 or 20 small pumpkins starting, and about 5 or 6 that have already been pollinated.