Show Time

Look at the top photo and you will see a hint of yellow in the center female flower. This means she is almost ready. Could be tomorrow, could be the next day.

Just before I grabbed the camera I saw a bee resting atop a nearby leaf. It was just sitting there.....waiting. Like one of those crazy shoppers who wait for hours to be first in line for the after Thanksgiving Day sales. This bee isn't going to miss out on the pollination of the year. I'm sure it can sense the magnitude of such a pollination. It will probably earn some type of recognition like induction to the hall of fame for bees, or perhaps some type of trophy- Most Valuable Bee. It's obituary will probably read "Here lies Mr.Bee, Born 2010-Died 2010. He lived life to the fullest. Accomplishments include working for the queen his entire life, pollinating countless amounts of flowers, making honey, and fulfilling his life long dream of pollinating 'THE BIG SHAQ'."

Now is the time for SHAQ to show us what he's made of. Two more months and a king will be crowned. I hear other growers talk of volleyball sized pumpkins already growing on their plants. Their plants have already matured to the state where all of the energy is being pumped into the pumpkin. Not so fast with SHAQ. I look at it as their plants being cocker spaniels, and SHAQ being a St. Bernard. Will it really matter in two months that the cocker spaniels were born 2 weeks before the St.Bernard? Doubt it. It's almost show time. With a little luck I'll be renting a crane in two short months to hoist the monster called THE BIG SHAQ.

Still Waiting

SHAQ has about 4 mini pumpkins starting. It's only a matter of time before I decide which one will be this year's franchise player. I'm debating with myself on whether or not I should take down the Luv Shaq. Maybe this week sometime.

waiting on a woman

Here is the first pumpkin to emerge on the main vine. A female flower will form on the end of the pumpkin and will be ready for pollination from one of the male flowers within a couple of weeks. Then it's a race against time to see how fat we can get him before October. For now the males will be patiently waiting for the females. I'm reminded of the Brad Paisley song.

Sittin' on a bench at West Town Mall
He sat down in his overalls and asked me
''You waitin' on a woman?''
I nodded yeah and said, ''How 'bout you?''
He said, ''Son since nineteen fifty-two I've been
Waitin' on a woman.''

When I picked her up for our first date
I told her I'd be there at eight
And she came down the stairs at eight-thirty
She said, ''I'm sorry that I took so long
Didn't like a thing that I tried on.''
But let me tell you son she sure looked pretty
Yeah, she'll take her time but I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman.

He said, ''The wedding took a year to plan
You talk about an anxious man, I was nervous
Waitin' on a woman.''
And then he nudged my arm like old men do
And said, ''I'll say this about the honeymoon, it was worth it
Waitin' on a woman.''

And I don't guess we've been anywhere
She hasn't made us late I swear
Sometimes she does it just 'cause she can do it
Boy it's just a fact of life
It'll be the same with your young wife
Might as well go on and get used to it
She'll take her time 'cause you don't mind
Waitin' on a woman.

I've read somewhere statistics show
The man's always the first to go
And that makes sense 'cause I know she won't be ready
So when it finally comes my time
And I get to the other side
I'll find myself a bench, if they've got any
I hope she takes her time, 'cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman.

Honey, take your time, cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman...

I'm thinking the split in the main vine will be OK. It looks much better after a few days of rest and relaxation for SHAQ. He hasn't had too much to worry about lately. You see, he is in the teenage stage right now. Just a bunch of lounging around eating doritos and playing nintendo. No responsibilities, no demands, and no worries. He definitely fits the "dumb jock" stereotype. He's so big and dumb in this stage of his development that he doesn't comprehend how an inch long cut in his main vine would be cause for worry. I (his overprotective parent for this analogy) am having a hard time cutting the apron strings, and probably overreacted when I saw him stumble to the edge of the field with blood on his jersey. You can see from the pics that THE BIG SHAQ is about to move out of teenage stage and enter adulthood. He has started growing numerous male flowers, and I've notice the bees are starting to "call dibs" on being the first to spread his pollen throughout the valley. For all of you pumpkin growers out there.....BEWARE!!! If you aren't wanting your pretty little pumpkins crossbreeding with THE BIG SHAQ, AKA the Big pollinator, AKA the GOAT, AKA the MVP, you better keep an eye on your pumpkin patch. SHAQ isn't only interested in winning this competition, He wants to rule the world.......anybody got any extra doritos? SHAQ ate the last bag.

Is this the END???

Here I am staring at the keyboard.........and...nothing. For once I'm speechless. I feel like a Cavalier fan hearing the news of King James moving to Miami. How could this happen?
I feel like throwing a camp chair across the lawn all Bobby Knight style. I feel like tipping over lawn mowers and rototillers and starting a week long riot in the garden. I feel like ripping out the potatoes and carrots and turning them into mulch. I feel like bulldozing the luv SHAQ and laying down sod. I feel like moving into a condo where someone else mows the lawn, where I wouldn't have the chance to screw up another growing season.
For those of you who thought the pic was of SHAQ's emerging male flowers, you're right. But look closer and you can't miss it.

An inch long split in SHAQ's main vine, and so it is with deep humility that I ask this question. Is this the END? only time will tell.

Maybe it's just a flesh wound. After all, Kobe Bryant did lead the Lakers to a repeat championship with a busted finger on his shooting hand right?

Compost Tea

I gave SHAQ a good soaking this morning along with a healthy dose of compost tea. I was curious to see how much he would grow throughout the day, so I put a stick in the ground at the end of the main vine. I took this pic tonight, about 14 hours later. The dude is amazing.

Today marks 1 month since I put SHAQ in the Luv-SHAQ. Why not light a few fireworks to celebrate?. Three more months and SHAQ will be the stuff of legends. A man among boys. With elephant ear leaves, and python sized vines he is gobbling up the rest of the garden. It's like having a grizzly bear caged up with a bunch of chihuahuas. Do you think the dogs would dare steal any food from the bear? The corn are a bunch of chihuahuas. I'm not sure if they aren't getting what they need because SHAQ is stealing it, or if he is just intimidating them into starvation. Trust me, SHAQ is a friend to no one. I only go out there in the daylight anymore.