Week 1

Sometime in the first part of the year when the gardens were still covered in snow, and the nights were long, guys were talking. Talking about spring fever, summertime, backpacking trips, and pumpkins. The winter wasn't especially harsh, but it was long, too long. Cold weather had made minds wander to better times. I can't remember the exactness of the conversation but it went something like this....

Josh: "Hey, me and Porter have been talking about having a pumpkin growing contest this year."

Me: "Sweet, I'm in, and I'm going to win. I grew a 75 pounder once without even trying."

Josh: "I think you must be thinking about your mamma's 75 pound wart."

Me: "Yo Mamma's so nasty she scares more than a jack-o-lantern-(lame pumpkin joke I know, but that's what came out)"

Josh: "lame"

Just then Porter walked up and we both shut up because he's never really caught on to how hilarious mamma jokes can be.

Porter: "you tell him about the pumpkin growing contest?"

Josh: "yeah and he thinks he's going to win"

Porter: "Maybe third place"




Throughout the next couple of months we mapped out a plan.

Participants will pay a $20 entrance fee.

The grower with the heaviest pumpkin will win most of the money. (2nd place will win something like $40 and 3rd place will win back their entrance fee.

Plants cannot be started before May 1

5 plant limit.

No funny business like drilling a hole and stuffing the pumpkins with lead or steroids or whatever.


In the beginning we had about 20 wantabe growers. It was easy for people to vision giant pumpkins growing during a perfect summer with perfect weather, but over time most have dropped out of the competition. Some say there's no room in the garden for a giant pumpkin, but I think they backed out because deep down in their hearts they are scared. Scared of The Big Shaq.