Ever seen Rhode Island?

I was out in the yard minding my own business "puttering" as the neighbor kids call it. It was like 95 degrees, and the potatoes on the ends of the rows were wilting in the heat. I immediately nicknamed them "Wilt". Maybe next year I'll be blogging about THE BIG WILT. probably not. I turned the sprinkler on and as soon as I turned around I saw IT...............

A humongous black cloud the size of Rhode Island.

Well, it wasn't completely black, the very top was white. I'm not sure why it was white but my guess is it was so close to the sun that the moisture was being evaporated and has probably since joined the gases circling Saturn. That's how big this thing was. At first I thought.."good, finally something big enough to quench SHAQ's thirst". What I failed to take into consideration was the strong winds that accompany something this big.

I had to shut off the sprinkler 10 minutes later because the water was landing nowhere near the potatoes.

I heard tree limbs breaking, I heard thunder cracking, I saw lightning flashing, I saw garbage cans being tossed like bean bags, I saw the surrounding wheat fields dancing, and I saw SHAQ. He was waving his vines above the ground as if to say "HELP"! I hurried to shut the doors, but it was too late, and the winds were too strong. I did what was next, I didn't want to come to this, but I had to. I grabbed the wheelbarrow and flipped it over on top of the big fella. I placed a 30 lb rock on top to make sure it stayed put. Close call! It would have been nice to hear a warning from the weatherman. You know, just a "heads up all you garden growers out there, we can see something massive on our radars, we aren't quite sure what it is but it looks like Rhode Island".